I will have my eyes closed when the sun sets and you will hear the humming of my dying heartbeat when too many dawns had broke.
Laugh, laugh, laugh as you sigh for what you lack and drink it up in a bottle of  him because I know that he takes your pain away.
I know your heart is made of wholeness and a whole lot of emptiness and it's almost never enough to keep you breathing.
Dye your hair in all shades of mortality with all sorts of I-want-to-live and other lies you repeat to yourself.
You blossom the other way round and not even the bloodiest of minds nor the cleverest of hearts would understand you.
You will not understand. The world does not stop spinning and it's a fucking daze.
And restless are the starts that watch upon me as I speak nonsense and wait for it to rain,
But fuck,
I don't even like the rain anymore.

A song for the stars.

And so I broke my back, and the stars cried
and my hands were too small to catch the light
and you laughed and laughed at the back of my mind
For every wanderer, some stars collide
and me and you would never ignite
I begged the earth to hold me tight
But God doesn't talk back and heaven turned out to be blindingly bright.
Followed by ghosts, metaphorically I froze
And traced us down on the way back home
Carved their beliefs in sand, while I carve mine into stone
Tonight my luster shines brighter than it's ever shone
I can break a body that's been bent from bone to bone
Yet so much depends upon the fate the stars wrote for you.
And so much, depends upon the fingers interlacing yours

And you will dress up like you know your way back to God and sip your coffee and hide the sun under your dress and hurt no more.

I'm saying take care now.

He said it hurts when he writes
But with all the dimmed light
My sun manages to break through.
Hold up, right there.
I think it hurts a little less now,
I think it reaves me quite gently now.
Do I still get to say your name in full sentences?
I think it dries my throat a lot more now,
I think it's leaving me mild now.
Will you name me after one of your stars?
I think you should dry your eyes now.
I'm saying pray to my God, and climb the roofs of our unrepented sins.
Steady as an ocean, and wild as a whisper
I'm saying howl no more.
I think I should give you up now
I think I should hand you over.
Do you still believe I'm heaven-sent?
I'm saying take care now
Lover, I'm saying you need to take care
For I can't afford it, and you should take good care now.
She asked if I was okay
quote that in uppercase, and a question mark.
Mother, I
lost the love I had in me
I left a hole within a howl.
Said I should stop being selfish,
get caffeine out of my system
or get me out of yours.
I'm saying stop pouring vodka on your wounds
or ask me to shut them back
because when I asked you to take care
I meant that bad habits are very hard to cut back on
and I bet your psychiatrist told you so
but I still hide that bottle of antidepressants in my drawer
just in case you know that it hurts a little less now.
My English teacher said that no complexion is gold
When Shakespeare was reminiscing about his own summer sky
But he doesn't know what you look like
When the sirens are quiet
And the lights are off.
I'm saying you should turn the lights on now because there are so many colors that you could be
And Blue is not one of them.
I think I love you when I think you're gold
But when your skies are grey
I paint over you
Color after another
After another
After no other.
I think this is when I knew that I love carrying you around as my art
But I am no artist
Only a paradox.
I'm saying take care now
really good fucking care
because neither one of us understood what it's like
to hold onto oneself.
And if I were to see you again,
I would turn my back
Before I break yours.
So I'm saying take care now
and let the wind pull us apart.

It's still winter in my head.

My heart is yearning for my skies to rain pour heavily on the strangled thoughts my head murmurs at night. 

يكبر الله بداخلى

الله اكبر

و الله ابقى

والله يبقى فى قلبى و قلب كل من تلعثم فى كلامه سكرًا بأسم الحب.

احترق جسدى فى اول صباح من تشرين الثانى

كما احترق ضوئا فى اول اربعين ليلة قضيتها فى رحم امى

و مكثت تسعة اشهر اكبر و اكبر

و يظل الله اكبر.

تحدثت عن الله و الحب سويًا, و قلت انهما جزء لا يتجزأ

فكيف تنفى وجود الله يا عُمر وأنا احببتك حتى الثمل؟

أفقدت عقلك باسما عندما ماتت ذكراك بداخلى أم ان الله سكن قلبى بدلًا منك؟

اتذوق قهوتى كأننى لم اتذوقها من شفتيه قط

بس هو بعيد

و انا ابعد ما يكون عن السلم أو السلام

و تكبر بيننا المسافة ليلة تلو الأخرى

و يظل الله أكبر.

زرت باريس مرتين

مرة اثناء نومى

و مرة فى ذراعيه

و لا يزال الله يكبر بداخلى, صرخة تلو الأخرى

فبعدد كل الخطايا التى انا بفاعلة و كل الصلاوات اللائى لن اؤد ذكرت اسم جلالته مقطوعة اللسان, فارغة اليدان.

                     

Descend upon me

I am full of love,

I'm bleeding it out.

                                                                 Descend upon me

And resonate.

A departure lies within those bare lines.

Drink until you're sober

Soak yourself in January's climax

And sin your way out of this world.

Please cover the earth when it starts to shiver

My world is coming to an end

And my coffee's gone cold