September 20 or 20 something

Jump back to September, 2014

Pick a day

Any day.

The 20th

Am I ready to bring this up one more time?

Am I ready to reminisce?

I am not,

but my hands are.

See, they are committed to memories that dawn did not take away from me...yet.

September, 20 or 20 something, 2014

You were standing, 

waiting, 

stuttering, 

shaking

I was elsewhere, 

nowhere, 

not there 

fading 

into thin air.

I was a city and you were just a town

I couldn't look down 

I was big, alive, and blooming

and my god did you look so gloomy

You named me after a drug.

Was it methamphetamine, heroin, cocaine?

or did I only feed on your pain?

I then met you and you smelled like gin

or some sort of sadness that lies within

you said "leave" and I didn't dare.

I thought you needed a shoulder to lean on

But oh my, I know a train wreck when I see one

September, 20 or 20 something

My common sense had died in vain

September knows no rain

you must have known better than to become the hurricane

Cold, hollow and drugged I remain

and him, I became.

Last December I called his name,

I waited,

stood,

stuttered

and shook.

He was elsewhere

everywhere

and a small death lay here and there

I said "leave" and he was sorry.
His lips were moving but my head was starry.

And so we faded by the end of the year

I still wait but he's not here.
Saudade, saudade, saudade.
I've grown ancient since that day.